How to Write a Blog

Mon 1st Dec 2014
  • Step one: choose a topic you really care about. A celebrity’s face hopefully. Supply and demand.
  • Ask yourself what do other people think about this issue? Then come down hard on the opposite side. They already know what they think – so tell them what they DON’T think.
  • Add graphic, sexual imagery. Sex sells and you can’t afford to go bankrupt because you won’t mention tall, beige penises and silky wet vaginas.
  • Every now and again surprise the reader with some CAPITAL LETTERS – just another way to excite and engage.
  • Keep it to under 200 words – people haven’t got the time for your nonsense; they’re busy tweet-marketing and online-business-shopping.
  • Mix up American and English spelling – something for everyone. And it gives it that European feel.
  • Add pictures, videos, wallpapers and songs. Just bits which say, ‘I get it, I know, reading is boring – here’s a video of me kissing a pig in a hat’!!

Good luck bloggers! x

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