Ramblings

How to Attract the Opposite Sex

Fri 21st Nov 2014

1) Get a tin whistle and use it accordingly. You’ve got a mouth haven’t you? Well time to put it to good use. Whet. Their. Whistle.

2) Stand out from the crowd. Suits and slacks are ten a penny bob. We all enjoy a uniform on man, woman or dog.

For a woman I would suggest dressing as fisherwoman – this says I’m outdoorsy, I’m outdoorsy & I look great by a lake.

For a man, I would say dress up as an Egyptian masseuse; it says ‘massage’ and ‘Egyptian’. And the ladies love it.

3) Signature scent. Make your own. Own your own. Wear your own. Whats that odour? It’s you dummy! The real denouement of this one is you avoid smelling like their ex lover, ex teacher, ex parent or other.

4) A hat. ‘Get a hat – get ahead’ so the old saying goes. This is a quick fire way to achieve oral sex.

5) And finally the old traffic light rules: Stop. Look. Listen.
Hello? What’s that the sound of? Yes, it’s more oral sex!

Well done.

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